Girl Talk

Jen Hatmaker is my new favorite author.  She's hilarious, encouraging, convicting, and inspiring.  She's so transparent and open it's easy to love her.  But what I really want to write about is her new book, Girl Talk.  I also recommend her devotional for mommies, Out of the Spin Cycle, but more on that later.
"Women will sacrifice, risk, stand on the ledge for the sake of real relationships...women literally define themselves by their relationships."


What does Jesus want us to be like in relationships?  "Unassuming, unpretentious, open, and honest."  Jen asks us to watch little girls and how they relate to one another.  They are "free from baggage, fear, the tendency to pretend and posture; they are unhindered in their natural desire for friendship."  I just think of my daughter Taylor when I read that.  I see her with her cousin Piper who is four months older.  The friendship they have already is exactly what she's talking about.  I see laughing, playing, sheer happiness, loving completely, no judgement, shared everything (good and bad), bonded.

I so want to be like that, but fail many times.  Why?  I'm selfish.  We all are.  I don't think of my friends wants or needs above mine at times.  It was honestly hard for me to be a true friend before I became a mommy.  I don't know if that's because I finally realized how selfish I was, or because I just bonded more naturally with other mommies.  Probably some of both.  I am so richly blessed in this season of my life with real/authentic girlfriends, that it's almost ridiculous.  I almost didn't think I needed to do this study.  Wrong!  Jen has made me think about all my girlfriends and how I relate to every single one of them.  Trust me, there's always room for improvement.

I LOVE my girlfriends, I NEED them in my life.  My mom has laid the foundation of what it looks like to be a loyal friend.  I've seen her sustain long term relationships.  She's got a handful of close girlfriends and they haven't lost touch.  Especially her best friend Darlene, who she met in married student housing and also has 6 kids.  My sisters are built-in life long besties :)  At least I know I'll have three friends always no matter what.  LOVE you Hannah, Beka, and Amy!

Then there are all my mommy friends.  It's like when you hit motherhood, you instantly connect with other women who are also mommies.  I can't list all their names, because I'm sure with my mom brain I would miss a couple.  But know you are loved and appreciated.  You are a breath of fresh air to me with...play dates, coffee dates, walks, shopping, texts, emails, phone calls, messages, cards.  You girls help me through the day to day and I'm so thankful for every one of you!  I just went on a long walk with one of my mommy friends, who happens to live right down the street!  We talked the WHOLE time, while pushing our jogging strollers.  Yes, I felt pretty winded.  But I feel like a new person.  An hour of girl time before breakfast...thanks Kristen!

I finished day four in the second week of Jen's book tonight.  Her second chapter is all about lying.  Made me think about how truthful I am in my relationships.  I think I lie more than I even know.  But I can't lie face to face with Jesus, this is how I want to be...

"When women experience this place of grace, we learn to extend it to our other relationships.  It becomes the map by which we find our way in friendship.  We learn to choose forgiveness over bitterness, compassion over selfishness, mercy over judgment, honesty over pretending.  When our friendships mimic our relationship with Jesus, there is delight unheard of.  We become a community of grace..."  Jen Hatmaker

Amen! I'm excited to see what God will do in my heart and through my friendships as I go through this study.  Love you sisters!